Taking the Risk to Bloom

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud became more painful than the risk to bloom.”  Anias Nin. 

This is one of my favorite quotes. Reminding me that there is pain in living. So which pain do I want to live with? The suffering that comes with shutting down and holding tight or the labor pains of birthing something new. Do I want to live from conditioning or be what I have come here to be in this life? There is greatness in every living being, and it is continually seeking creative expression. I have lived as this tight bud, believing the fears, stories & concepts I have been schooled in. Patterns that suppress this deep organic fire of being.

In the early 1990’s I did a self-inquiry that revealed to me my spiritual theme. A thread that’s both completely simplistic while being incredibly the most powerful thing I can engage in. Surrender! It is not in gathering more that I become fulfilled, but instead letting go of what is in the way. Not addition but subtraction! By releasing the reins, I see it’s not about power over but an embodiment of my true animal nature within this interdependent wholeness. By relinquishing the need to control or know the outcome, I find an ally in not knowing. I drop into a softer and sweeter meeting with vulnerability. More available to life’s nudges and my inner promptings. It becomes more about listening and following rather than disregarding and plowing through.

Yet there is also a risk to be taken here and that is scary! Creative change does not happen without that fire of surrender that ignites the cauldron within the belly. A passion that aids me in moving through the fears and taking that leap into the unknown. To open and bloom. And that is worth every challenge, just to meet that beauty which is born! And it’s an ongoing movement, there is no culmination to this journey. Every moment an opportunity and choice.

Rose from my garden